From February 2015

Messy Magic

So what is Messy Magic all about

So what is messy magic all about

The concept of Messy Magic came channeled to me about a year and a half ago, right around the time I was coming out of the deepest dive my life had thus taken:  my 14 year-old-marriage and relationship had painfully ended, my ego and stability was crushed to smithereens, and I was basically left with the just the skeleton of my soul, and even that, I doubted I could lean on...

But I did lean on it, this tiny spark of magic, and I began to uncover and discover what was inside, what belonged, what needed to be welcomed and transformed, and what needed to simply fuck off:  all the shadows and bottled up emotions, all the concepts of myself, my identity (as a wife, as a woman, as a person who “had their shit together”, especially someone who had studied and worked in healing…I felt like such a failure…!), all the ways I wanted my life to go…I uncovered and released and wrestled with my ego & soul until, slowly, bit by bit, more and more magic began to manifest…

“You must give up the life you planned in order to have the life that is waiting for you.” — Joseph Campbell

I began to realize the beauty in my breakdown, and to witness the light that wanted to shine through the cracks of my broken life…it had a purpose, and that purpose is now being revealed to me, in deep and magical ways…much like the alchemical process of lead being transformed into gold, I now know that this is the process of our soul’s path:  living these messy-magical human lives (with our struggles and triumphs) we have the chance to reveal the soul-magic that wants to shine…

Life will crack your heart open again and again until it stays open  — Rumi

I know how difficult it can be to trust the magic, to trust that the universe has our back, especially when life seems to throw lemon-bombs at our heads & hearts, and the thought of making lemonade seems ridiculous & pointless…but it isn’t pointless:  there is a beauty to the breakdown, and light that wants to crack us open and show us more of who we are…life gives us exactly what we need for our development, and it’s up to us to face it, like a gentle warrior, like water, like the radiant messes we are.

It isn’t easy, but it’s worth it:  to be cracked open by life, so that more magic can pour through us…

If you’re in the cracking-chaos-phase right now, all I can offer you is my cheerleader-soul that chants:  let it break, let it shine, keep on going, there’s magic on the other side…!

Musical Bio

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  • Alma Omega ∞ Messy Magika started DJing in 2003 while living in Holland, creating cross-over “conscious dance” events in various yoga schools:  a Yoga Clubbin’ Tour with Potential Buddha (combining music with vinyasa-style yoga, healthy food, and post-yoga-dancing) and co-founder of the monthly Sonic Sundays Dance Party at the legendary Yoga Moves, as well as DJing at various DIY festivals and parties around Holland.
  • Alma Omega has found a new chapter after her move to Berlin in 2010:  deeply influenced by both the ultra-free-spirited vibe and unlimited tapestry of possibilities that Berlin has to offer, AND the abundance of artistic and musical talent that throbs in this city of death & rebirth…She has been influenced by both the realms of dance & movement meditations (Gabrielle Roth’s 5 Rhythms, Movement Medicine & Open Floor are DEEP inspirations) AND the magical, artistic expression of house-culture, and is grateful to both as the pillars of her work.  She is the co-creator of Cacaophany dance rituals: combining the magic of Sacred Raw Cacao, Dance and Music to uplift the body-heart-mind, which has formed a gorgeous Cacao-Tribe in Berlin, and has traveled to Zurich, Poland & Amsterdam…And is one of the founders of LUCID a soulful, playful and dynamic Sunday gathering, taking place once a month in Berlin –  where music, dance, community & natural high vibes roam wild & free.

 

  • Alma’s taste in both the depth of underground music AND connective magic of pop&soul has brought her to perform at weddings, art-openings, avant-garde events, and meditative rituals…nothing is too profane or sacred, when it comes to the magic of music to connect and uplift…In fact, it is the most binding element on our entire planet (next to love).

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…Deep Deep Love for Music…a love letter

Dear Music,

You my best friend, my most fond lover, my rock and the kite of my soul, flying through the winds of life…

From the first moment I heard “Tracks of my tears” by Smokey Robinson at the age of 8,  hearing “Bonita Applebum” by Tribe Called Quest at 11,  seeing the “Smells like Teen Spirit” video at 12, discovering Bjork at age 17 and having severe eargasms, my first houseparty at 18 basically changing my life, multiple spiritual experiences listening to Larry Heard to feeling so close and intimate with the sounds coming from the ground, the walls, the air of Berlin …

Music, you have helped me follow my heart from my mamma-land America to Holland, and helped me to stay in the city of Berlin so that I can rebuild, rebirth and replenish…music you have opened my heart, expanded my consciousness and you are the healer that just keeps healing, the gift that keeps on giving, the cosmic channeler of bliss, wisdom and release…

Thank you, I bow to you, I adore you.

Forever the willing slave to your healing rhythm,

Love, Me

In the world of Alma Omega ∞ Messy Magika, music is one of the most powerful forces on our planet, and in our lives:  creating landscapes to the complex depth of our emotions, invoking healing frequencies that can heal any hurt, gives hope to the injustice, can uplift our spirits, and can connect humans with another like no words, politics, or dogmas will ever do…we live in a world full of boundaries and music is the soft-weapon-of-choice to break down the boundaries in our culture(s), our minds, and our hearts, time and time again…with the loving consciousness of music, life can renew and regenerate itself, on the inside and out.

Alma Omega ∞ Messy Magika has been in a deep love-affair with music from as long as she can remember…Music has formed the tapestry of her life, and continues to:  from her American-folk-soul-blues-hip-hop roots developing her musical foundation, House-music changing her life, opening her heart, and catapulting her to Europe at the ripe age of 17, to the multi-layered sound-waves of Ambient, eclectic-electronic, and organic Grooves of her many magical dance rituals and events, music is her true L-O-V-E.

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My Story: Roots to get the wings

I grew up in Virgina and Ohio in a very loving, slightly chaotic family (our motto still is: we keep the FUN in dysFUNctional…it was here that I learned to love & look at life with humor…thanks mom & dad for the roots & wings!)   The cultural climate around me was a very middle-of-the-road type of American environment, and I always dreamed of more out of life since I was conscious that that was an option (spending a few days with 2 amazing hippie-punk hitchhikers in San Fransisco when I was 12 were very influential in this…Miles and Allie, wherever you guys are now, you can now know that your free-spirits touched a maleable, 12 year-old-pre-teen-me from Ohio…thanks!)

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Instead of immediately studying at University (after 4 years at an intense and competitive all-girl’s Catholic High School), I became an exchange student for one year in The Netherlands, which has been one of the most pivotal years in my life so far: I learned how it was to truly BE and LIVE in the moment (instead of always preparing for the future), I had some deep mystical experiences that awoke my thirst for the mysteries of life, and fell deeply & madly in love.

After that mind-heart-soul blowing year, I studied Buddhism and Anthropology at one of the best universities in the USA, but ended up dropping out before completion due to deep lack of the meat, bones, soul & magic that I was not finding in Academia…my heart and soul longed for more…

I immigrated to Holland in 2000, to follow my heart: to the man I deeply loved (we intuitively eloped and married…our heads were not involved with that decision at all...that was a pure stomach-heart-soul kind of decision, the type you know is your destiny) and as an escape from the harsh, darwinistic American culture. With great joy (being in love helped) and A LOT of hard work, I chiseled away quite a lovely life in Holland for 10 whole years: learned Dutch (and became a naturalized Dutch citizen), put myself through Holistic-Massage school (finally getting closer to my heart’s longing), organized my first magical gatherings crossing over the spirit of DIY-spirituality-& creative partying, and formed an amazing network of beautiful friends (of which I am still so gratefully connected to and love).

I was the breadwinner of my “family of 2” for several years, working over-time in natural health foods and as a Massage-Therapist. I owned my own Holistic-massage & coaching practice for 6 years, worked at several detox-retreat centers and yoga schools in Holland and Portugal, and studied many various therapeutical healing forms for several years. In between all that, music was my passion and life-line, and I DJed at various events ranging from Yoga Clubbin’, to DIY mini-festivals, and my own “conscious dance” Sunday-evening party, Sonic Sundays. I lived with much joy in Holland, and at the same time, I was open to more.

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image Eugenia Loli

 

In 2010, after many doubts and A LOT of thinking and feeling, I moved together with my Dutch husband to Berlin, and found the great challenge of immigrating once again. I worked really hard to form my little slice of paradise in Berlin’s vibrant, creative matrix, but it was ROUGH (Berlin didn’t exactly immediately open it’s arms with glee for another ex-pat chick with open-hearted enthusiasm…it was more like a cold shoulder, but I kept on going).

I learned German, I organized a successful Urban Yoga Retreat (combining yoga with street-art), and set up a small massage practice. And then the shit hit the fan: my relationship went through a HUGE turn for the worse, and I lived through one year of hell that truly felt like a breakdown of myself on every level (physical, mental, emotional & social…spiritual as well, but luckily there were a few spiritual anchors that I could hold on to)…I found a way out, and once I physically got out, I realized that the situation I was in was damaging to my spirit and growth. After a lot of soul-searching and grievance, I decided to end my 14 year old marriage, most definitely the most difficult decision of my life.

when life goes upside down, you get to see it from different..perspectives... photo Philipp Wittulsky
when life goes upside down, you get to see it from different..perspectives…
photo Philipp Wittulsky

Since 2013, after what I consider my “death-and-rebirth”, I have indeed been re-birthing myself, from the inside-out, on much deeper levels than ever before: I have been finding my “tribe” here in Berlin (and am so grateful to have finally found people and friends I not only resonate with, but who I can lean on for support and fun), I have been moving from pure-survival to joyous-thriving, I have re-kindled my love and passion for DJing, music and magical gatherings, and have discovered so many different new riches and gems (Sacred Cacao, women’s circles, Lucid, POWERFUL self-love) and I now know that there is beauty in the breakdown: as I heal and re-claim lost parts of myself, I can look back upon my life’s path with less and less shame and sadness for my mistakes and failures, but take great pride and joy for the wisdom I have received and am receiving from both the euphoric highs and ego-crushing lows in my life…

My hero Joseph Campbell said 2 quotes that are my rocks: “You must give up the life you planned in order to have the life that is waiting for you.” & “Follow your Bliss”…I now know that life is super messy, but simply SOAKED in magic and little bliss bombs that want to lead us in the directions of our heart’s deepest longing…Sometimes it hurts, sometimes it all fits together, sometimes it’s almost too beautiful to bear….all I know now: I’m life’s little bliss-bitch from now on…

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photo Philipp Wittulsky